Finding a Fitness Identity

Finding commitment to a sport could probably be considered similar to the commitment you apply to a relationship. You cannot just show up but you also have to do the work and furthermore you have to enjoy the work. This may be what lends itself to a lot of people simply describing their workout routine as “going to the gym”. There are always several excuses to not do the work perhaps you did not sleep well or you are bloated or you’re about to get your period. To feel your fitness as a part of self the way you speak on it must be altered. Changing the language is important, you don’t just run but you’re a runner, you’re not going to yoga but you’re a yogi or perhaps you don’t just do barre but you’re a barre junkie—I did not have a word for this? They know who they are. I once felt separate from the significantly more toned Vancouverites that I’d pass by along the sea wall as their muscles threatened to escape the last barrier of skin, which appeared to be a lot more malleable than I originally knew. As I trained for my first half marathon I was certain that these people were doing their post run stretching in homes filled with medals and framed finish line photos adorning their walls. And I was different perhaps less committed because I had just newly dedicated myself to this.

After I ended my training in track and field I began to felt at a loss as to how I was going to exercise. I tried independently running and began going to the gym multiple times a week. Spending my entire life up to that point being a part of an athletic community I was setting into uncharted waters. I had no practice that I was required to attend and this meant that it was my responsibility to find a workout routine to suit myself.

I do believe that the first time I said out loud to myself “I am a runner” it felt a little foolish. But through this declaration, akin maybe to saying “I do” there were no technical changes but it allowed my perspective to shift. This small and slightly awkward process allowed me to feel as though I was part of community and that the nods received from fellow runners on the trail were deserved.

Perhaps telling yourself that you are (insert your thing) it will mean that you’ll make a little extra space in your carry on luggage careful to roll the Lululemon leggings in a way that leaves room for your trainers. The process does not isolate you in my experience but immerses you not only into the world of your own choice but also helps you to feel like an active part of a larger wellness community. Taking ownership of something in this way roots you in your values. Attaching myself to running first provided with me purpose but then also allowed me the ability to create goals (and break them) outside of your career.

I was always frustrated when I relied on the gym for my exercise and then found myself on a road trip with nowhere to workout and no reason because I was just someone who went to the gym a lot. Discovering myself in running meant that it was valid for me to escape from the family activity briefly to go get a good sweat. But even more importantly perhaps this change of perspective also allows me to take breaks and not feel lost at sea. With the knowledge that this sport is inseparable from myself when I am not able to to lace up my shoes it does not mean that I am any less into fitness than I was before my break. This also means that when you do finally exercise again, it feels a lot like coming home.