Fill Your Cup

The side of the building I live on never receives direct sunlight. Despite this my blinds remain open 4 or 5 inches at the bottom so that inevitably, when my puffy eyes pull back my silk eye mask I can see the graceful transition from deep blue to light and then perhaps get to watch a swirl of pink and yellow turn the sky into that classic tone of blue. I ascend from my bed to grab my phone and scroll through the small pile of notifications accumulated overnight from friends and family in a different time zone. In a trance I slip my, potentially over worn but seriously loved, Birkenstocks on and set a pot of water to boil. I return to to my room and collect the socks and hair elastics that were disregarded in my sleep and left scattered throughout the sheets. I make the bed. I put out the oats, golden raisins, chia and peanut butter on the top of my mini fridge. I fetch the pot and then delegate the hot water between my mug which is filled with the grounds of instant coffee. The rest is dedicated to my breakfast. If there is remaining hot water it  might get stored in my water bottle to be used for a cup of tea later. Opening a fresh browser I may type in the name of a favourite blog or news source and swirl oat milk into my coffee. A Snapchat might prompt me to open front camera which causes me to acknowledge my puffy eyes which further causes me to grab my jade roller in hopes to depuff my tired face. Apple Podcasts, a lineup of recently uploaded pods. I listen to the pleasant sound of The Daily with Michael Barbaro and the background music returns me to cold, evening bus rides on my way back to Kitsilano from downtown Vancouver. I smile at the memory which seems far away and simple. The coffee goes down and the remaining water is used to make a cup of caffeine free tea. I’m trying to live in balance. I add wedges of lemon to my Swell thermos and fill it with water from the tap that is not quite as cold as I would like but still does the trick in getting my thickened blood moving through my body. I might refill the mug that makes a home for cut flowers, hoping to give them a day or two extra of life. Recently I have taken up the practice of a morning journal session which is supposedly good for emptying your system of last nights thoughts. Today I visited Patti Smith in her novel M-Train and her words help to bring me to consciousness as they are not the type to be absently consumed. I might switch from podcast to playlist of songs that remind me of home or YouTube a morning stretch with Yoga with Adriene. At some point I close my laptop and watch the passersby. At some point I acknowledge that the day is going to get on without me if I do not speed up. Although having usually already switched from pajamas to a middle ground of leggings and a t-shirt or my favourite cotton sports bra, I might shower and select my favourite denim and a sweater or something that would pass for real world clothing. Lately my hairs’ length has been uninspiring so it gets tucked and twisted into a small, low bun. I apply some brow gel and spend a good deal of time longer than I ever think I will ensuring I have my wallet, my Moleskin and a pen with a lid (so as not to stain another tote with ink) and my book. I slip one my five rings, each reminiscent of a certain time or person in my life. This is my unrivalled favourite part of getting ready. I always get reasonably irritated when my hands are full of my keys, my water bottle and my tangled headphones as I juggle them not knowing which to first toss into my bag. “Pause” I have to consciously tell myself. I practice a few deep breaths as I gather myself and select a playlist, slip my phone down the side of my bag and begin my day.